
Specific questions improve conversations about school
Talking to your teen about school reinforces its importance. It also helps you know what's going on. Instead of "How was your day?" ask your teen specific questions. "Which class do you do best in?" "Do any classes seem too difficult?" "How do teachers show interest in your ideas?" "Who could you go to at school with a problem?" "What would you tell a friend from another school about your school?"
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Let your teen experiment with homework task order
One strategy that helps students stay organized is to make a homework to-do list each day. But what task should your teen do first? Many teens tackle the toughest assignment first, when they are freshest. Others find starting with an easy task gives them a feeling of confidence and accomplishment that helps them take on the more challenging work. Have your teen try both ways and decide what works for him.
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Issue a challenge to encourage responsibility
Being responsible means actually doing what we say we're going to do. In order to behave responsibly toward others, we have to learn to follow through on promises we make to ourselves. To get this lesson across to your teen, take a challenge with her: Each of you choose one thing that's been on your to-do list for at least a week and do it today.
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Turn passive screen time into active learning
Many teens watch TV shows and videos passively, with their minds disengaged. To use screen media to get your teen thinking critically instead, watch together. Afterward, discuss these topics: Is the conflict in the show similar to one your teen has faced? What perspectives did the main characters bring to the conflict? How did they respond? What were the consequences? Were there other alternatives?
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Share a study process to boost reading recall
Every teen needs to know how to read to understand the meaning of a detailed passage. Teach your teen to think of the letters PQRST. P is for Preview to identify the main points. Q is for Questions to ask himself about what he can learn from the passage. R is for Reread to find answers to his questions. S is for Study the passage and summarize facts to remember. T is for Test himself and be sure he understands all the answers.
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Short chats add up to meaningful conversation
A teen who longs for independence may not have any interest in a long talk with you. But you can still talk with her about issues that matter. Just figure on five or six short talks instead of one long one. Talk about something for five minutes, then, as she disappears into her room, press the "pause" button. After dinner, pick up where you left off. Over time, you'll cover the issue, just in short bursts.
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Short chats add up to meaningful conversation
A teen who longs for independence may not have any interest in a long talk with you. But you can still talk with her about issues that matter. Just figure on five or six short talks instead of one long one. Talk about something for five minutes, then, as she disappears into her room, press the "pause" button. After dinner, pick up where you left off. Over time, you'll cover the issue, just in short bursts.
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Sign a safety contract with your new driver
Responsible students take safety seriously. If your teen has just gotten a driver's license, creating a contract can help him take responsibility for driving safely. In it, spell out exactly what is and isn't allowed. For example, "No one who has had even one drink may drive the car" and "No texting or even looking at your phone while driving." Lay out consequences clearly. Then require your teen to continue to practice driving with you.
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Expand your teen's experience by reading aloud
When children hit adolescence, many parents stop reading to them. But reading aloud offers benefits to teens. Choose books or articles that let your teen experience someone else's mistakes or discoveries. Read things that help her realize she is not the first person to deal with a difficult situation. Ask a librarian for help choosing titles. Another bonus: If your teen likes what she hears, she may read more herself!
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Help your teen see how math's pieces fit together
Much of math is like a puzzle. It can be hard to see where the new piece fits until you look at the existing pieces. Don't let your teen lose too many pieces of the puzzle. Even if he has no math homework due the next day, encourage him to work at least a few problems every day. This will reinforce the concepts in his mind, and it can help him see how the next assignment fits in.
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Enrich your conversations with your teen
Most days, teens and parents talk about topics such as schedules, meals or homework. This is necessary talk, but it's not what brings families closer. At least once a day, make time to ask your teen about something that doesn't involve the tasks at hand. Ask her about a feeling, an interest or an idea she might have. You may learn more about your teen, and she'll know you care what she thinks.
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Share personal safety tips for teens on the go
As your teen earns more independence, make sure he knows the steps to take to stay safe. In addition to following COVID protocols, remind him that he should travel with a friend or in a group. He should always let someone responsible know where he's going and when he'll be back. He should never hitchhike or pick up a hitchhiker. And when he's home alone, your teen should keep doors and windows locked, and never open the door to strangers.
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Respond productively to a poor report card
It's natural to feel upset if your teen brings home a bad report card. But showing frustration and anger isn't productive. Instead, start by talking about what your teen has done well. Next, ask her what she thinks the problem is behind the poor grades. Is it poor study habits? An overloaded schedule? If needed, contact the teachers for their views. Then together, set realistic goals for improvement.
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Mentoring gives teens a chance to be role models
Children need good role models, and teens can make great ones. Mentoring a younger child can bring out caring and responsibility traits in your teen, and it may even count toward a school service requirement. Help your teen find mentoring opportunities, such as coaching a sports team, joining a scouting program or tutoring at an area school. Have him ask teachers for ideas, too.
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Add a writing activity to family screen time
Here's a way to make your family's screen time more productive and give everyone some writing practice at the same time. Fill a three-ring binder with paper to make a "family review log." Each time someone watches a new show or video, plays a new game or downloads a new app, have that person write a review. Family members can then check the log to help them decide how to schedule their viewing time.
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Ask for help if your teen has a problem with reading
By middle and high school, students are expected to have basic reading skills. If your teen dislikes or avoids reading, or has trouble reading aloud, he may have a reading problem. There are many causes of reading problems, but whatever your teen's problem is, you shouldn't face it alone. Ask his teachers or counselor for advice. There are many ways to help students improve reading skills.
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Teachers assign homework for many reasons
Homework builds students' self-discipline. But teachers assign different kinds of homework for other reasons, too: Practice homework helps your teen remember a newly learned skill. Preparation homework is a way to introduce her to topics the class will be covering. Extension homework helps her make connections between separate topics. And creative homework challenges your teen to use her skills to show what she's learned.
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Respond to teen moods with clear, calm and open communication
Teens are often moody people. But experts say that teens who feel a connection with their parents do better in school. To encourage that connection, keep your temper under control, even if your teen doesn't. If he claims he needs his "space," create times when you are available for conversations, either in person or on the phone. And let him know what is and isn't acceptable behavior.
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Encourage your teen to use a homework preparation checklist
Your teen can't complete her homework if she's forgotten the information or resources she needs. Eliminate the "I forgot it" excuse by having her create a checklist to complete before the end of the school day. It should contain questions such as: Do I understand all assignments and due dates? Do I have all the needed books, materials and supplies? Have I talked to all the necessary people?
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Focus on fitness to support health and learning
Exercise is vital for your teen's health, and research shows it also improves learning. But physical education classes at school aren't enough. To ensure your teen gets enough exercise, look for activities with a focus on fitness, such as a run for charity. Suggest your teen join a hiking club, or a school or community sports team. And make exercise a part of your whole family's daily routine.
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Suggest low-pressure ways for your teen to enjoy writing
Many teens enjoy writing in their spare time. Writing builds important communication skills that help in school and life. To increase your teen's interest, suggest enjoyable writing activities: Ask him to write a description of a family member. Or he could imagine what it would be like to be an object, and write what it might say if it could talk. Or give your teen some photos and ask him to write stories to go with them.
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